Caution: Blind Bowler

For newer readers and people who haven’t seen me all summer, here’s a recap of my eyes as they see (or don’t) these days.
In 2003 I had a cornea injury that I did not leave covered up long enough. My eye started "looking around" the scratch on the surface, which caused muscle striations that pulled the eye to the side. Ever-present diabetic retina problems became opportunistic. The right eye has been dark and out of alignment ever since.
In 2009, Cialis caused a vitreous blood hemorrhage in the left eye. This filled an existing cataract and the center of the eye with blood. They did cataract surgery, which gave me good distance vision but eliminated reading vision due to the type of lense they used (with no consultation with me, the patient.) Because of the hemorrhage, I let them scare me into the "preventative" diabetic laser surgery to burn the retina on the back of the eye. The stresses of that and the cataract surgery and the hemorrhage all kind of made the diabetic thing happen, which reduced my peripheral in that eye.
In January 2012 I had retina reattachment surgery and another procedure where they replaced the blood-dirtied vitreous gel with silicone oil. This brought some clarity and keeps pressure on the back of the eye. The retina reattachment did not succeed as well as either the doctor or I had hoped.
The sight in the left eye has no perineal, so with the dark right eye, I can see only what I am looking at and cannot see that too clearly. My eye takes a long time to adjust to changes in lighting and does not process light very well. I see colors better, up to certain distances. My test by finger sight ranges from one to four feet depending on how adjusted I am to room lighting. I see most people in shadows, and can’t adjust distance vision very well. That brief experience of being eagle-eyed after the cataract surgery is long past.
I see by color, motion, contrast and feel. My brain fills in gaps. Familiarity is always an asset to getting around. I can’t successfully fake it for too long anymore. I cling to the last bits of independence I have left and learned to accept offered help without much comment or resistance.
Being stubborn and fiercely independent have been assets through all this. I need aids , such as contrasting-color tape on microwave buttons or using a 32-inch TV as a monitor and a magnifying mouse and glasses to see the computer. There’s things I can no longer do, like drive, but I try what I can before surrendering helplessly to the things I can’t., but I can do most things at least some of the time.
Life has always been pretty rough for me. I am not a fragile diabetic or a fragile person, so I try not to let it stop me. I will hold on to what I have of the old life for as long as I can,
It is unlikely things will get much better, even after the silicone oil is drained out. I will always need bowling teammates to tell me what pins are still standing in between throws, but at least I will be able to tell them that I
am still standing.I’m usually aware of it when I fall down. I’m smaht that way.