My right eye went dark in 2003. I failed to leave a cornea abrasion covered long enough. The eye looked around the obstruction. The muscles pulled to the outside and peeled the retina off the back of the eye. Diabetic retinapathy, opportunistic of other problems.
I started plowing in 2006, in part because other peoples’ unreliability had crossed all acceptable lines. The city had thoroughly plowed me in, not just with a massive plow ridge, but by moving the snow from the main street to the dead-end access that led to my parking. I had a contractor plowing, but he vacationed to Florida every February. I have not driven since October 2011 but only sold the jeep two months ago. I’m feeling that loss and it triggers feelings of uselessness and helplessness via things outside my control. These things are issues I had handled after experiencing them but have come full circle.
I can only accept limitations. I can only try to impress those genuine limitations on others. A blind guy with a bad leg and reliance on an orthopedic boot brace cannot go shovel someone else’s car out.
I was good at the plowing. The first snowfall after I obtained the Jeep Wrangler was a minor but complicated storm. An inch of snow fell, then turned to rain. The precipitation stopped when a cold front blew in and froze the slush. Wanting to practice and play with the new equipment, I plowed the properties I managed. The tenants were thrilled. Their home lots were bare dry pavement while everywhere else, work, commercial establishments and most municipal streets, were slicked over with layers of ice that remained for days.
I no longer have the equipment to do that because I am no longer equipped to operate the equipment. I did not stop driving because someone made me, or because I had gotten into a serious accident because I was driving past the time I should have been. I stopped on my own because I didn’t want to kill myself or someone else.
Medications combine with insulin fluctuations to trigger periods of vertigo. I have a hard enough time moving and standing without carrying things when the ground is smooth and dry. Snowstorms had been my active times since 2006, and also periods of productive alone time. I miss those aspects. I would prefer to be able to continue some of them, but that’s now physically possible for me any longer. There’s a negative emotional charge to the entire situation for me.
A Wrangler is one of the shortest vehicles that can handle a plow (and I still burned out two transmissions.) Mine was equipped with the narrowest plow blade available. I could get into tight areas despite the fact that my field of vision was reduced and I lacked depth perception. I really was performing beyond my physical capabilities
Those physical capabilities are further diminished now, permanently. I am learning to accept that. Can others do the same?
Showing posts with label Cornea Abrasion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cornea Abrasion. Show all posts
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Surgical Scars
Following the victrectomy, I have spent a lot of time with my eyes closed. I used bandages and shields longer than recommended to keep the left eye dormant. I don’t exactly do much these days, especially while I am supposed to not exert and thus strain muscles that may be connected to the eye, so this has been mostly manageable. My reasoning ties directly to the experience of the complications that darkened my right eye ten years ago.
Back then, my right eye misaligned as the eye looked around the obstruction caused by a temporary cornea abrasion. I recently had an inexplicable minor abrasion on the left eye, which I did not worry about because I couldn’t see out the eye too clearly anyway.
Post victrectomy, the cornea is more of an issue. The procedure involved draining the eye of silicone oil and refilling it with saline solution. I didn’t ask many details about the procedure, because I didn’t want to know details that sound horrific in theory. But my basic ideas of sticking something in the eye to drain and fill seemed about right.
There’s scars in the cornea. They are at the bottom of the field of vision, but can rise to more central prominence as the eye looks around. I tend to look at the scars as they strike me as cool in a morbid way.
The most prominent are three perfect dark rimmed circles in the formation of an upwards-pointing triangle. Aside the dark edges, I can see through these bubbles. There’s a fourth circle to the right of the upper part of the triangle. I can really only see that one when I focus on the strange pattern. Two much smaller circles will also become evident These are the scars of needles or hoses stuck in my eye during the surgical procedure.
I do not expect these scars to be permanent. But until the limited cells of the cornea resettle, the formation is a distraction to my vision. I’m pretty confident that the circles are on the cornea as the formation realigns when I focus on it. The triangle spreads out or flattens and the smaller "needle holes" will rearrange around the larger circles. Unlike the retinapathy flashers or the scar of "light" that is the mark of the original Cialis-induced vitreous hemorrhage, these scars are only visible when the eye is open and hit by light. Closing my eyes makes the circles go away. The next time I see them, they return in their original formation.
I am afraid of any instinct to look around the scars, or to focus on them. My right eye suffered permanent damage to the internal muscular structure by looking around the minor obstruction on the cornea.
I figure better safe than sorry, and the closed eyes help ensure I take it easy during the healing process.
Back then, my right eye misaligned as the eye looked around the obstruction caused by a temporary cornea abrasion. I recently had an inexplicable minor abrasion on the left eye, which I did not worry about because I couldn’t see out the eye too clearly anyway.
Post victrectomy, the cornea is more of an issue. The procedure involved draining the eye of silicone oil and refilling it with saline solution. I didn’t ask many details about the procedure, because I didn’t want to know details that sound horrific in theory. But my basic ideas of sticking something in the eye to drain and fill seemed about right.
There’s scars in the cornea. They are at the bottom of the field of vision, but can rise to more central prominence as the eye looks around. I tend to look at the scars as they strike me as cool in a morbid way.
The most prominent are three perfect dark rimmed circles in the formation of an upwards-pointing triangle. Aside the dark edges, I can see through these bubbles. There’s a fourth circle to the right of the upper part of the triangle. I can really only see that one when I focus on the strange pattern. Two much smaller circles will also become evident These are the scars of needles or hoses stuck in my eye during the surgical procedure.
I do not expect these scars to be permanent. But until the limited cells of the cornea resettle, the formation is a distraction to my vision. I’m pretty confident that the circles are on the cornea as the formation realigns when I focus on it. The triangle spreads out or flattens and the smaller "needle holes" will rearrange around the larger circles. Unlike the retinapathy flashers or the scar of "light" that is the mark of the original Cialis-induced vitreous hemorrhage, these scars are only visible when the eye is open and hit by light. Closing my eyes makes the circles go away. The next time I see them, they return in their original formation.
I am afraid of any instinct to look around the scars, or to focus on them. My right eye suffered permanent damage to the internal muscular structure by looking around the minor obstruction on the cornea.
I figure better safe than sorry, and the closed eyes help ensure I take it easy during the healing process.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Post-op Pattern
The retina reattachment procedure did not go as well as either my eye doctor or I had hoped. I dealt with that disappointment OK, all things considered.
I noticed a pattern that is giving me reason to look at things more deeply, so to speak. I have noticed a definite pattern that my eyesight gets worse. When it recovers from the visit, it does .
My theory is the light sensitivity effect. Glare is worse, sensitivity to light is worse and darkness vision is worse, all worse aftert each exam.
In these visits, they are dilating my eye and strobing the eye with very bright light. This is how the doctor is able to see the retina to note changes. I think this has the same damaging effect as staring at the sun.
I don’t see the point of going to the doctor–even this very good doctor–to be told I can’t see.
The eye is unstable, and the condition is currently made worse by the resumption of eye drops for eye pressure and the report of a cornea scratch. There’s more to the latter, and those have the texture of anchovy paste and the effect of making things worse.
I still have a procedure to go. The center of my eye is filled with silicone oil, which is meant to keep pressure on the retina to keep it in place.to be drained. My realistic hope is that the oil has gotten clouded over time and that the procedure will ewatore some acuity.
Other things to hope for are just not realistic. For me, realism always trumps optimism. The doctor wants to continue waiting before changing the silicone oil. If it is potentially creating a glaucoma problem, and if my vision worsens every time I am examined, we’re crossing the threshold of the treatment being worse than the disease.
I noticed a pattern that is giving me reason to look at things more deeply, so to speak. I have noticed a definite pattern that my eyesight gets worse. When it recovers from the visit, it does .
My theory is the light sensitivity effect. Glare is worse, sensitivity to light is worse and darkness vision is worse, all worse aftert each exam.
In these visits, they are dilating my eye and strobing the eye with very bright light. This is how the doctor is able to see the retina to note changes. I think this has the same damaging effect as staring at the sun.
I don’t see the point of going to the doctor–even this very good doctor–to be told I can’t see.
The eye is unstable, and the condition is currently made worse by the resumption of eye drops for eye pressure and the report of a cornea scratch. There’s more to the latter, and those have the texture of anchovy paste and the effect of making things worse.
I still have a procedure to go. The center of my eye is filled with silicone oil, which is meant to keep pressure on the retina to keep it in place.to be drained. My realistic hope is that the oil has gotten clouded over time and that the procedure will ewatore some acuity.
Other things to hope for are just not realistic. For me, realism always trumps optimism. The doctor wants to continue waiting before changing the silicone oil. If it is potentially creating a glaucoma problem, and if my vision worsens every time I am examined, we’re crossing the threshold of the treatment being worse than the disease.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Caution: Blind Bowler
For newer readers and people who haven’t seen me all summer, here’s a recap of my eyes as they see (or don’t) these days.
In 2003 I had a cornea injury that I did not leave covered up long enough. My eye started "looking around" the scratch on the surface, which caused muscle striations that pulled the eye to the side. Ever-present diabetic retina problems became opportunistic. The right eye has been dark and out of alignment ever since.
In 2009, Cialis caused a vitreous blood hemorrhage in the left eye. This filled an existing cataract and the center of the eye with blood. They did cataract surgery, which gave me good distance vision but eliminated reading vision due to the type of lense they used (with no consultation with me, the patient.) Because of the hemorrhage, I let them scare me into the "preventative" diabetic laser surgery to burn the retina on the back of the eye. The stresses of that and the cataract surgery and the hemorrhage all kind of made the diabetic thing happen, which reduced my peripheral in that eye.
In January 2012 I had retina reattachment surgery and another procedure where they replaced the blood-dirtied vitreous gel with silicone oil. This brought some clarity and keeps pressure on the back of the eye. The retina reattachment did not succeed as well as either the doctor or I had hoped.
The sight in the left eye has no perineal, so with the dark right eye, I can see only what I am looking at and cannot see that too clearly. My eye takes a long time to adjust to changes in lighting and does not process light very well. I see colors better, up to certain distances. My test by finger sight ranges from one to four feet depending on how adjusted I am to room lighting. I see most people in shadows, and can’t adjust distance vision very well. That brief experience of being eagle-eyed after the cataract surgery is long past.
I see by color, motion, contrast and feel. My brain fills in gaps. Familiarity is always an asset to getting around. I can’t successfully fake it for too long anymore. I cling to the last bits of independence I have left and learned to accept offered help without much comment or resistance.
Being stubborn and fiercely independent have been assets through all this. I need aids , such as contrasting-color tape on microwave buttons or using a 32-inch TV as a monitor and a magnifying mouse and glasses to see the computer. There’s things I can no longer do, like drive, but I try what I can before surrendering helplessly to the things I can’t., but I can do most things at least some of the time.
Life has always been pretty rough for me. I am not a fragile diabetic or a fragile person, so I try not to let it stop me. I will hold on to what I have of the old life for as long as I can,
It is unlikely things will get much better, even after the silicone oil is drained out. I will always need bowling teammates to tell me what pins are still standing in between throws, but at least I will be able to tell them that I
am still standing.I’m usually aware of it when I fall down. I’m smaht that way.
In 2003 I had a cornea injury that I did not leave covered up long enough. My eye started "looking around" the scratch on the surface, which caused muscle striations that pulled the eye to the side. Ever-present diabetic retina problems became opportunistic. The right eye has been dark and out of alignment ever since.
In 2009, Cialis caused a vitreous blood hemorrhage in the left eye. This filled an existing cataract and the center of the eye with blood. They did cataract surgery, which gave me good distance vision but eliminated reading vision due to the type of lense they used (with no consultation with me, the patient.) Because of the hemorrhage, I let them scare me into the "preventative" diabetic laser surgery to burn the retina on the back of the eye. The stresses of that and the cataract surgery and the hemorrhage all kind of made the diabetic thing happen, which reduced my peripheral in that eye.
In January 2012 I had retina reattachment surgery and another procedure where they replaced the blood-dirtied vitreous gel with silicone oil. This brought some clarity and keeps pressure on the back of the eye. The retina reattachment did not succeed as well as either the doctor or I had hoped.
The sight in the left eye has no perineal, so with the dark right eye, I can see only what I am looking at and cannot see that too clearly. My eye takes a long time to adjust to changes in lighting and does not process light very well. I see colors better, up to certain distances. My test by finger sight ranges from one to four feet depending on how adjusted I am to room lighting. I see most people in shadows, and can’t adjust distance vision very well. That brief experience of being eagle-eyed after the cataract surgery is long past.
I see by color, motion, contrast and feel. My brain fills in gaps. Familiarity is always an asset to getting around. I can’t successfully fake it for too long anymore. I cling to the last bits of independence I have left and learned to accept offered help without much comment or resistance.
Being stubborn and fiercely independent have been assets through all this. I need aids , such as contrasting-color tape on microwave buttons or using a 32-inch TV as a monitor and a magnifying mouse and glasses to see the computer. There’s things I can no longer do, like drive, but I try what I can before surrendering helplessly to the things I can’t., but I can do most things at least some of the time.
Life has always been pretty rough for me. I am not a fragile diabetic or a fragile person, so I try not to let it stop me. I will hold on to what I have of the old life for as long as I can,
It is unlikely things will get much better, even after the silicone oil is drained out. I will always need bowling teammates to tell me what pins are still standing in between throws, but at least I will be able to tell them that I
am still standing.I’m usually aware of it when I fall down. I’m smaht that way.
Friday, May 4, 2012
The Round-up
A major intent of this blog from, the beginning was to share information in the hopes of helping other people avoid some of my mishaps.
The key piece of information that cannot bear repeating enough is that boner pills such as Levitra, Viagra, and Cialis can cause permanent blindness.
The way this blog has been searched and found indicates that my experiences over the last few years almost places an obligation on me to give a less detailed but more thorough review of retina specialists in Rhode Island and New England and eye doctors who practice retina specialties.
My last post hailed Magdalena G. Krzystolik and I can recommend no one above her. Reasons include technical ability, integrity, honest communication with the patient and the fact that she demonstrated more interest in me as a patient than in patient payment. While educated here in the U.S., she was born in Europe and seems to lack American capitalist priority.
The other absolute positive referral should also be listed fist: Heinrich Krosschell. He is not a specialist but a general eye doctor. He himself knows this limit. He can give you general views by his experience but will not hesitate to tell you when a problem is beyond his scope. This honesty over both ego and profiteering earns him a lot of my esteem.
I saw two doctors with Koch Eye Associates. I recommend neither, nor the practice. Michael Negrey gained some points for looking into what could have been a thyroid problem, which others might criticize as unnecessary testing. He loses all regard however, because he has such a God Complex over his patients that he failed to communicate to me about most aspects of the cataract surgery. If I had been given the option of a lense that would have allowed close up vision, I would have a higher quality of life these days. Negrey made those decisions for me without consultation. He also utterly failed to inform me that the cataract procedure posed risk of triggering retinapathy. He failed to inform me of this despite knowing that one of his associates, Dr Michael O’Brien, was performing PRP laser treatments on me in the same time frame. Dr. O’Brien also did not inform me of the serious risk factors of the procedure he performed, including the fact that the procedure is almost guaranteed to cause at least some level of what it is supposed to prevent. O’Brien’s bedside manner was wonderful, but evoked the warnings of smiling at crocodiles. He scared me into the PRP due to the Cialis induced vitreous hemorrhage, despite being told that other retina specialists had willingly forestalled any such treatment after havin done multiple examinations of my eye. He seemed to care only about being a productive employee to Koch’s billing department.
Dr. Harold Woodcomb was one of the retina specialists who thought is safe to wait rather than rushing me into PRP laser. I saw him for a period of years and defected only when disillusioned by his failure to even consider the (documented) possibility that Cialis caused the vitreous hemorrhage. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed under his care rather than roving to people and practices that did more harm than good.
I had been seen once by a Dr. Smiley in Woodcomb’s Providence office. He attempted scare tactics to roll me into immediate PRP surgery. I can find little direct information about him as he seems to have disappeared. He no longer seems affiliated with Woodcomb’s practice and may be the Dr. Smiley working in California, but I am not sure of that.
I submitted to treatment a the Joslin Eye Center in Boston. They charge a lot of money, but no aspect of the care itself seemed to warrant their reputation as "best in the world." Dr. Deborah K. Schlossman barely examined me but added notes to my file that claimed to have informed me about things she never mentioned. Dr. Paul Arrigg seemed much better, but he strung me along for months with plans for procedures that it turned out he had no realistic intention of ever doing. In those months, the retinapathy worsened. If I had the reattachment done sooner, the outcome probably would have been better.
Prior to the hemorrhage, I had trusted my routine specialist care to John Loewenstein at Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary. I sought treatment there also under gullibility of world class reputation and ceased treatment after learning that I had other developing conditions in the eye that Dr. Lowenstein could not have been bothered to indicate to even the slightest degree.
I saw Dr. Arthur Geltzer in Providence in 1998. He was one of many doctors who used the "I do this surgery now or you will be blind in six months" scare tactics to get my money. With the experience of the past few years, I believe more than ever that if I had done the surgery then, I would have been blind in six months and then been told that I waited too long to have the surgery.
Patients need to run from any doctor who uses scare tactics, particularly the six month line.
A search through the blog will lead to more details about my experiences with most of the docs and quacks on the list.
The key piece of information that cannot bear repeating enough is that boner pills such as Levitra, Viagra, and Cialis can cause permanent blindness.
The way this blog has been searched and found indicates that my experiences over the last few years almost places an obligation on me to give a less detailed but more thorough review of retina specialists in Rhode Island and New England and eye doctors who practice retina specialties.
My last post hailed Magdalena G. Krzystolik and I can recommend no one above her. Reasons include technical ability, integrity, honest communication with the patient and the fact that she demonstrated more interest in me as a patient than in patient payment. While educated here in the U.S., she was born in Europe and seems to lack American capitalist priority.
The other absolute positive referral should also be listed fist: Heinrich Krosschell. He is not a specialist but a general eye doctor. He himself knows this limit. He can give you general views by his experience but will not hesitate to tell you when a problem is beyond his scope. This honesty over both ego and profiteering earns him a lot of my esteem.
I saw two doctors with Koch Eye Associates. I recommend neither, nor the practice. Michael Negrey gained some points for looking into what could have been a thyroid problem, which others might criticize as unnecessary testing. He loses all regard however, because he has such a God Complex over his patients that he failed to communicate to me about most aspects of the cataract surgery. If I had been given the option of a lense that would have allowed close up vision, I would have a higher quality of life these days. Negrey made those decisions for me without consultation. He also utterly failed to inform me that the cataract procedure posed risk of triggering retinapathy. He failed to inform me of this despite knowing that one of his associates, Dr Michael O’Brien, was performing PRP laser treatments on me in the same time frame. Dr. O’Brien also did not inform me of the serious risk factors of the procedure he performed, including the fact that the procedure is almost guaranteed to cause at least some level of what it is supposed to prevent. O’Brien’s bedside manner was wonderful, but evoked the warnings of smiling at crocodiles. He scared me into the PRP due to the Cialis induced vitreous hemorrhage, despite being told that other retina specialists had willingly forestalled any such treatment after havin done multiple examinations of my eye. He seemed to care only about being a productive employee to Koch’s billing department.
Dr. Harold Woodcomb was one of the retina specialists who thought is safe to wait rather than rushing me into PRP laser. I saw him for a period of years and defected only when disillusioned by his failure to even consider the (documented) possibility that Cialis caused the vitreous hemorrhage. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed under his care rather than roving to people and practices that did more harm than good.
I had been seen once by a Dr. Smiley in Woodcomb’s Providence office. He attempted scare tactics to roll me into immediate PRP surgery. I can find little direct information about him as he seems to have disappeared. He no longer seems affiliated with Woodcomb’s practice and may be the Dr. Smiley working in California, but I am not sure of that.
I submitted to treatment a the Joslin Eye Center in Boston. They charge a lot of money, but no aspect of the care itself seemed to warrant their reputation as "best in the world." Dr. Deborah K. Schlossman barely examined me but added notes to my file that claimed to have informed me about things she never mentioned. Dr. Paul Arrigg seemed much better, but he strung me along for months with plans for procedures that it turned out he had no realistic intention of ever doing. In those months, the retinapathy worsened. If I had the reattachment done sooner, the outcome probably would have been better.
Prior to the hemorrhage, I had trusted my routine specialist care to John Loewenstein at Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary. I sought treatment there also under gullibility of world class reputation and ceased treatment after learning that I had other developing conditions in the eye that Dr. Lowenstein could not have been bothered to indicate to even the slightest degree.
I saw Dr. Arthur Geltzer in Providence in 1998. He was one of many doctors who used the "I do this surgery now or you will be blind in six months" scare tactics to get my money. With the experience of the past few years, I believe more than ever that if I had done the surgery then, I would have been blind in six months and then been told that I waited too long to have the surgery.
Patients need to run from any doctor who uses scare tactics, particularly the six month line.
A search through the blog will lead to more details about my experiences with most of the docs and quacks on the list.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Fighting the Growing Night
Essentially, I am blind because I am diabetic, going on 40 years now. It just catches up to you, I could say. I have not lived the life of a bad diabetic all these years, something guaranteed to hasten multiple problems and complications. For me, diabetes had been less of a direct cause and more of an opportunistic leech ever ready to suck away and complicate anything it could.
The right eye’s been blind since 2003. I coped and adjusted to that fairly well. I did not leave a minor cornea abrasion covered long enough. They eye began looking around the temporary obstruction. When that happened, my eye muscles pulled out of place, it permanently peeled the retina off the back of the eye, opportunistic of old damage. I retain a pinhole of vision in the right eye, but that is obscured by a dense cataract and that the muscle damage does not allow my brain to properly direct the eye.
The left eye is even more complicated. Like with the right eye, there was old but stable diabetic non-proliferative retinapathy.
The stable situation changed in 2009 when I took a dose of Cialis. The boner pull caused a massive blood hemorrhage in my good eye. Levitra or Viagra could have done the same thing.
In seeking treatment, cataract surgery would be necessary as the cataract was now filled with blood. Doctors scared into doing PRP laser treatment to "prevent advancement of retinapathy."
Cataract surgery can trigger proliferative retinapathy. I was not told that.
The PRP treatment can also increase risk of advanced retinapathy and is almost guaranteed to reduce peripheral vision. I wasn’t told that either. I had forestalled PRP treatment for two decades. The doctors told me that retinapathy, not boner pulls, caused the blood gushing hemorrhage. I knew it was Cialis, but I am not arrogant enough to not doubt that the doctors might be right.
Flashes of light, aptly called "flashers," started after the third PRP session. Flashers are a certain sign of full blown retinapathy, where the retina begins to detach.
I was not given a choice in cataract lenses because my doctor knew what was best for me. The new lense killed my reading vision.
The PRP ended after six sessions. Peripteral began receding almost immediately.
I had also not been told that what I had suffered was a vitreous hemorrhage. I had expected the cataract surgery to clear the obstruction of ruddy blood fog. Instead I learned that an entire other pool of blood remained in the center of the eye.
My vision darkened to the edges of the cataract lense as the eye absorbed the vitreous contamination. I coped with this remarkably well, until scar tissue and further retinapathy issues further eroded my remaining vision. The vitreous remained filled with clouds and floaters that accumulated into a still-thickening veil of darkness. The obstruction within my eye inhibits my pupil from working correctly and obscures most color vision.
The retinapathy has advanced beyond the cataract. I have at least one dead spot in my central vision. Now reading is impossible not just for worsening focus issues, but because I really can’t see a set of letters as an entire cohesive word.
I’m still coping, but maybe not as well. The fight to retain any self sufficiency has become a nonstop battle that I can’t seem to win.
I’m conjuring my adolescence, when I didn’t let impossible odds stop me from fighting on.
The right eye’s been blind since 2003. I coped and adjusted to that fairly well. I did not leave a minor cornea abrasion covered long enough. They eye began looking around the temporary obstruction. When that happened, my eye muscles pulled out of place, it permanently peeled the retina off the back of the eye, opportunistic of old damage. I retain a pinhole of vision in the right eye, but that is obscured by a dense cataract and that the muscle damage does not allow my brain to properly direct the eye.
The left eye is even more complicated. Like with the right eye, there was old but stable diabetic non-proliferative retinapathy.
The stable situation changed in 2009 when I took a dose of Cialis. The boner pull caused a massive blood hemorrhage in my good eye. Levitra or Viagra could have done the same thing.
In seeking treatment, cataract surgery would be necessary as the cataract was now filled with blood. Doctors scared into doing PRP laser treatment to "prevent advancement of retinapathy."
Cataract surgery can trigger proliferative retinapathy. I was not told that.
The PRP treatment can also increase risk of advanced retinapathy and is almost guaranteed to reduce peripheral vision. I wasn’t told that either. I had forestalled PRP treatment for two decades. The doctors told me that retinapathy, not boner pulls, caused the blood gushing hemorrhage. I knew it was Cialis, but I am not arrogant enough to not doubt that the doctors might be right.
Flashes of light, aptly called "flashers," started after the third PRP session. Flashers are a certain sign of full blown retinapathy, where the retina begins to detach.
I was not given a choice in cataract lenses because my doctor knew what was best for me. The new lense killed my reading vision.
The PRP ended after six sessions. Peripteral began receding almost immediately.
I had also not been told that what I had suffered was a vitreous hemorrhage. I had expected the cataract surgery to clear the obstruction of ruddy blood fog. Instead I learned that an entire other pool of blood remained in the center of the eye.
My vision darkened to the edges of the cataract lense as the eye absorbed the vitreous contamination. I coped with this remarkably well, until scar tissue and further retinapathy issues further eroded my remaining vision. The vitreous remained filled with clouds and floaters that accumulated into a still-thickening veil of darkness. The obstruction within my eye inhibits my pupil from working correctly and obscures most color vision.
The retinapathy has advanced beyond the cataract. I have at least one dead spot in my central vision. Now reading is impossible not just for worsening focus issues, but because I really can’t see a set of letters as an entire cohesive word.
I’m still coping, but maybe not as well. The fight to retain any self sufficiency has become a nonstop battle that I can’t seem to win.
I’m conjuring my adolescence, when I didn’t let impossible odds stop me from fighting on.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Warning Signs
I lost vision in my right eye when the eye was looking around a temporary obstruction caused by a cornea abrasion. The eye muscles pulled at the back of the eye and against the retina. Slow blood leaks started at that time and progressed quickly. Dr Lowenstein’s statement "You never had an eye injury" displayed the doctor’s evident belief that a sudden change from nonproliferative to proliferative stages of diabetic retinapathy only happens in a vacuum to naughty diabetics. I know his diagnosis was wrong. The sudden change from bad but stable and non-problematic to actively bleeding stages only happened in one eye.
Despite his scoffing at the reported cause, Lowenstein found my left eye stable and did not recommend immediate PRP surgery in the years I saw him.
My next doctor, Harold Woodcomb, also determined the left eye to be surprisingly stable.
If I had been better educated about the warning signs and symptoms, I would have sought help for the right eye sooner. Some level of useful vision might have been saved. I didn’t notice the signs soon enough because my whole field of vision in that eye was moving. I was seeing double. The right eye saw images above and to the left off the left eye’s image. I had incorrectly assumed that the flashing and swirling effects were part of the muscle movement.
The dark eye does retain excellent color vision through the remaining pinhole. I noticed this when further complications on the good eye diminished my color vision.
That earlier loss had taught me retinapathy’s signs and symptoms. I have blamed no one but myself for the incident from start to finish.
Diabetics need to be aware of:
I judge from the fact that in a 15+ year period, three doctors told me I would be blind in six months but not one of them told me what signs of active problems to look for. Educated patients are less profitable patients.
I had none of those symptoms when I began the PRP treatment. My eye had not leaked from the Cialis, it had gushed, creating not little black flecks but an enormous red wave;.
What I cannot recommend is that any patient simply take the word of his doctor that he needs PRP right away, if the patient has no actual visual signs of a problem. Study the risks and side effects of the surgery, here or on independent internet searches. The treatment can cause the precise problems it is supposed to prevent.
Despite his scoffing at the reported cause, Lowenstein found my left eye stable and did not recommend immediate PRP surgery in the years I saw him.
My next doctor, Harold Woodcomb, also determined the left eye to be surprisingly stable.
If I had been better educated about the warning signs and symptoms, I would have sought help for the right eye sooner. Some level of useful vision might have been saved. I didn’t notice the signs soon enough because my whole field of vision in that eye was moving. I was seeing double. The right eye saw images above and to the left off the left eye’s image. I had incorrectly assumed that the flashing and swirling effects were part of the muscle movement.
The dark eye does retain excellent color vision through the remaining pinhole. I noticed this when further complications on the good eye diminished my color vision.
That earlier loss had taught me retinapathy’s signs and symptoms. I have blamed no one but myself for the incident from start to finish.
Diabetics need to be aware of:
- distortions at the edges, such as when a tile floor seems wavy;
- flashing light spheres or crescents that circle or flow around the eye whether the eye is open or closed;
- gradual darkening at the edges of vision;
- small recurring floaters, which are dark spots or stringy clouds loose in the eye.
I judge from the fact that in a 15+ year period, three doctors told me I would be blind in six months but not one of them told me what signs of active problems to look for. Educated patients are less profitable patients.
I had none of those symptoms when I began the PRP treatment. My eye had not leaked from the Cialis, it had gushed, creating not little black flecks but an enormous red wave;.
What I cannot recommend is that any patient simply take the word of his doctor that he needs PRP right away, if the patient has no actual visual signs of a problem. Study the risks and side effects of the surgery, here or on independent internet searches. The treatment can cause the precise problems it is supposed to prevent.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Cataracts
I discovered that I had cataracts in spring of 2006.
While driving a "lorrie" on one of the antique buying trips in England, I really noticed that I was having increasing difficulty reading the traffic signs, even with my distance-improving glasses on. One of the closer friends I had at the time had undergone Lasik surgery and was absolutely eagle-eyed. Once back in the US, I made an appointment for a free consultation.
He Lasik people were not about to do any surgery on me based on the fact that I had only one functioning eye to begin with. While disappointing, the experience proved some value. My slowing increasing diminishment was determined to be due to cataract, and not to plain old nearsightedness or to any retina problem. I greeted both those things as good news.
Yet one aspect of the examination lingered in my brain: why, when I had been going to Dr. Lowenstein two or three times a year for the past couple years did I first learn of what was a relatively large cataract from a free Lasik consultation? The arrangement of Lowenstein’s practice did not quite make him an economical option for this self pay patient. Upon every visit, I had to pay Dr. Lowenstein. Then, a bill of another couple hundred dollars would come from The Massachusetts ye and Ear Infirmary in the following weeks. For so much money in double billing, why had it never been even casually mentioned to me that I had a cataract? I don’t bemoan paying for services, but I do want some bang for my buck.
I asked about the cataract on my next visit in the summer of 2006. I was told that I was scheduled for a retina exam only, and that if I wasn’t another issue looked at, I needed to make another appointment.
I never did make another appointment with Lowenstein or anyone else at Mass Eye. Instead, I started seeing Dr. Woodcomb in Providence. That professional relationship lasted about three years, until his doubt that "Cialis causes any eye problems." I could live with Lowenstein’s skepticism about the 2003 cornea abrasion because I was by that time seeing him for routine evaluation. I couldn’t live with Woodcomb’s doubts because I needed someone who would treat me according to the facts, not according to pharmaceutical propaganda.
While driving a "lorrie" on one of the antique buying trips in England, I really noticed that I was having increasing difficulty reading the traffic signs, even with my distance-improving glasses on. One of the closer friends I had at the time had undergone Lasik surgery and was absolutely eagle-eyed. Once back in the US, I made an appointment for a free consultation.
He Lasik people were not about to do any surgery on me based on the fact that I had only one functioning eye to begin with. While disappointing, the experience proved some value. My slowing increasing diminishment was determined to be due to cataract, and not to plain old nearsightedness or to any retina problem. I greeted both those things as good news.
Yet one aspect of the examination lingered in my brain: why, when I had been going to Dr. Lowenstein two or three times a year for the past couple years did I first learn of what was a relatively large cataract from a free Lasik consultation? The arrangement of Lowenstein’s practice did not quite make him an economical option for this self pay patient. Upon every visit, I had to pay Dr. Lowenstein. Then, a bill of another couple hundred dollars would come from The Massachusetts ye and Ear Infirmary in the following weeks. For so much money in double billing, why had it never been even casually mentioned to me that I had a cataract? I don’t bemoan paying for services, but I do want some bang for my buck.
I asked about the cataract on my next visit in the summer of 2006. I was told that I was scheduled for a retina exam only, and that if I wasn’t another issue looked at, I needed to make another appointment.
I never did make another appointment with Lowenstein or anyone else at Mass Eye. Instead, I started seeing Dr. Woodcomb in Providence. That professional relationship lasted about three years, until his doubt that "Cialis causes any eye problems." I could live with Lowenstein’s skepticism about the 2003 cornea abrasion because I was by that time seeing him for routine evaluation. I couldn’t live with Woodcomb’s doubts because I needed someone who would treat me according to the facts, not according to pharmaceutical propaganda.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Half Blind: The Right Eye
Before going into the complicated mess of the left eye, I should give a brief recap of the right eye going blind in 2003.
I exerted too much pressure on a dull borer bit on a drill. The central axis snapped. The bit slipped from the door and sprayed the right eye with sawdust. This created a cornea abrasion.
Thanks to a sharp steak fry and a not-so-sharp woman named Danielle, I’d had a cornea abrasion before and knew how to treat it. Unfortunately, did not treat it long enough by leaving it covered to give the eye its rest and allowing the cornea cells to realign over the temporary obstruction to a smooth viewing surface. In the subsequent weeks, they eye pulled to the outside.
The eye’s efforts to look around the temporary obstruction striated the muscles of the eye. The pulling muscles worked to peel the retina off the back of the eye.
The end result is that the right eye is blind in the way most people think of when they hear "blind." They eye is dark except for a pinhole of vision. That pinhole is less usable than it might otherwise be for two reasons. The field of vision is misaligned, creating ghost images that run above and to the right of the normal vision. The right eye also has a cataract that makes the misaligned image very blurry.
I did not recognize the signs of the quickly growing retinapathy. I saw a few doctors. None suggested the potential for re-attachment while the wound was fresh.
The incident exemplifies the medical profession’s approach to diabetic patients. I saw a couple doctors, and began monitoring the left eye’s retina regularly. I ended up as a regular patient of the esteemed Doctor John Lowenstein of Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary.
When I gave Dr. Lowenstein the history of the problem with the right eye, he told me point blank: "You never had a cornea injury. This is from diabetes."
You’re the doctor. You must be right. I suppose I just imagined the borer bit and the sawdust and the cornea abrasion.
A student doctor joined the party of strobing painfully bright lights into my eyes. In going over things with the student, Lowenstein said "And look at this. You almost never see muscle striations like this with diabetic retinapathy."
I leaned forward and said, "Yo, doc. Cornea injury? Eye pulled to the side, as in striated?"
He just said "Oh." The look on his face was that of someone who had been called out for farting in a crowded elevator.
I exerted too much pressure on a dull borer bit on a drill. The central axis snapped. The bit slipped from the door and sprayed the right eye with sawdust. This created a cornea abrasion.
Thanks to a sharp steak fry and a not-so-sharp woman named Danielle, I’d had a cornea abrasion before and knew how to treat it. Unfortunately, did not treat it long enough by leaving it covered to give the eye its rest and allowing the cornea cells to realign over the temporary obstruction to a smooth viewing surface. In the subsequent weeks, they eye pulled to the outside.
The eye’s efforts to look around the temporary obstruction striated the muscles of the eye. The pulling muscles worked to peel the retina off the back of the eye.
The end result is that the right eye is blind in the way most people think of when they hear "blind." They eye is dark except for a pinhole of vision. That pinhole is less usable than it might otherwise be for two reasons. The field of vision is misaligned, creating ghost images that run above and to the right of the normal vision. The right eye also has a cataract that makes the misaligned image very blurry.
I did not recognize the signs of the quickly growing retinapathy. I saw a few doctors. None suggested the potential for re-attachment while the wound was fresh.
The incident exemplifies the medical profession’s approach to diabetic patients. I saw a couple doctors, and began monitoring the left eye’s retina regularly. I ended up as a regular patient of the esteemed Doctor John Lowenstein of Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary.
When I gave Dr. Lowenstein the history of the problem with the right eye, he told me point blank: "You never had a cornea injury. This is from diabetes."
You’re the doctor. You must be right. I suppose I just imagined the borer bit and the sawdust and the cornea abrasion.
A student doctor joined the party of strobing painfully bright lights into my eyes. In going over things with the student, Lowenstein said "And look at this. You almost never see muscle striations like this with diabetic retinapathy."
I leaned forward and said, "Yo, doc. Cornea injury? Eye pulled to the side, as in striated?"
He just said "Oh." The look on his face was that of someone who had been called out for farting in a crowded elevator.
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