The Fourth of the Apocalypse

The last sudden setback occurred on the morning of 14 December. Yeah, that 14 December, as in last week.
They call these releases of floaters hemorrhages, but they are nothing like the blood surging hemorrhage that set this descent to darkness in motion in October 2009. It was black, not red, and did not happen as I woke, but when I was sitting at a sports medicine office to have a serious ongoing problem with my foot more thoroughly examined.
I had never been to that office before. The waiting room is a large expansive room with scattered chairs and café type tables and inconstant lighting from fixtures and large picture windows. I thought the dancing shadow that streaked through my vision might be some oddity of the unfamiliar room. My roommate said the glass door was casting reflections.
If my eye chased after the darting shadows, they moved or got worse. I realized quickly that the problem was in my eye, not the room.
Maybe stress caused it. I was under no stress for being in the doctor’s office; I had been looking forward to the appointment as resolution to a problem that had gone on for too long. The injury to my foot was two months old and not getting better. I could deal with it OK, except that it was a very inconvenient injury that further decreased my mobility and self sufficiency. Even if I wanted to get to the convenience store a quarter mile away, I couldn’t drive because I’m too blind and I couldn’t walk because I’m too gimpy.
While the doctor’s visit created no stress, I have to consider the impact of stress on the setback. Since Thanksgiving, every area in my neatly compartmentalized life has been exploding with unanticipated events that became even more frustrating by my inability to do anything about anything, or imploding through extreme boredom by my inability to do anything about anything..
My blood pressure, normally around 140/80, read at 212/123. Safe to say (or perhaps unsafe to say,) I was slightly upset.
My vision has been in further decline since late summer. I’ve been coping with that stoically, sharing nothing unless someone noticed and addressed it to me on point. When my right eye faded, there had been no setbacks, just a steady fade to black. I had not noticed that fade as acutely because I had another functioning eye and the muscle damage to that eye had made it more distracting that useful anyway.
This release of a huge floater drastically and suddenly made it even worse. I could only think, this is it This is the one from which I will not recover. Each of the prior setbacks had left more obstruction. I don’t think even my current doctor can accurately differentiate some effects between retina separation from vitreous obstruction. The results are the same. Instead of just being legally blind, I am heading towards totally blind.
That means doors are closing. For every one that does, I intend to kick open two others.
I’ve got the sore foot to prove it.