Braying to a new God

On my own, I do not remember the details of the 1998 examination. I remembered where the office was, but not the name of the practice or the attending doctor. I remembered only broad strokes.
The detailed recollection came after a search through old file folders. A letter from Dr. Arthur Geltzer thanks Dr. Krosschell’s office for the referral and provided a recap of the exam. I haven’t looked at it in years, maybe not since cramming it in the file.
I do independently remember that Geltzer asked general health questions and I stated I was healthy. I remember his response, this declarative statement said in the tone of a commandment. "If you’re a diabetic, you’re not healthy."
I also remember Geltzer’s prognosis. I’d heard the same prognosis word for word eight years before. If I didn’t have the PRP laser surgery ":you will be blind in six months."
Actually, I lied. It wasn’t quite word for word. When I heard it from the quack at Vision World in 1990, he had said "If you don’t have that surgery, you will be blind in six months.
Geltzer’s warning was an imperative laced with God Complex. "If I don’t do this surgery, you will be blind in six months."
I suppose I should have dropped to my knees and prayed to the exalted doctor Geltzer. He would strike with his holy lightning as red lasers burning into the back of my eyes and he would cure me.
His God Complex was so bad, that he extended his plan for living in his Godly image. "You need to quit your job and get one with health insurance or you need to save your money so I can do this surgery."
He did not mention that preexisting clauses in health plans would have disallowed his laser surgery at a new job for 6 to 18 months after the deadline had faded to black.
He did not mention that clinics at some of the hospitals would do the same procedure at a fraction of the cost.
He did not refer me to any social service program.
He had simply commanded me to marshal whatever forces I had to so he could do the PRP treatment.
That’s what I remember.
The letter I found puts things differently. It states that he found no rubeosis (the growth of abnormal blood vessels on the iris.)
It was Geltzer’s "impression" that I had "neovascular diabetic retinapathy from longstanding diabetes mellitus."
Maybe I’m too jaded, but his having "the impression" doesn’t quite sound the same as a conclusion based on careful examination.
In this letter, Geltzer "also suggested that he, in all likelihood, will need laser in the not-too-distant future."
Maybe I am too jaded. These experiences helped make me that way.
I did hear that "blind in six months" threat once after this. By that third time, it didn’t produce angst. My reaction: "oh, this again."