Big D's

Scientists actually know precious little about how the brain works. Intricacies of memory and thought often baffle the researchers. I understand the basics enough. As a science fiction writer I know generalities and specific details about many things, enough to give advance thought and theory but not an expert unless I specifically research a topic and I can often forget the specifics. My mind is limited and usually stretched too thin across too many things.
I understand the chemical imbalances of depression and when the depression is emotional. For months now, as the eyesight has been steadily deteriorating, the depression has gotten worse, with definite biochemical interaction to the despair of my situation.
My mind works by association, I pay attention to assorted random things and have made definite connection between lifelong cycles and my changing situation.
Constant lower sugar levels bring on a biochemical depression. This is now constant low sugar; the A1C numbers will still be higher than any level that any doctor will find acceptable.
I heard a news bit more than a decade ago and putting it into practice seems to have lent weight to the theory that fish and seafood acts as a natural antidepressant. It doesn’t cure me, but I do just feel better the day after eating scallops or whitefish or a tuna sandwich.
All of these fish sources male ,e dream. I am one of those who normally does not remember dreaming, but have never denied that I do. I have vivid dreams the nights of fishy meals. It took a year or so of my time traveling to England on business to realize that I was dreaming due to regular fish intake, not because of a tendency to eat hot custard deserts while there. My roommate always has vivid dreams when he has done a routine trip to Maine. He thought something about being in Maine made him dream, even when he returned that same night. I realized that his typical Maine lunch of seafood (usually tuna) was the true cause. He has no depression or dream issues otherwise.
I have come to believe that people who do not remember dreaming are more prone to depression. More recently, I’ve come to theorize that Vitamin D plays a major role in the chemical equation. The core of the belief if seasonal depression. Less sunlight, less Vitamin D, more depression.
In the last year and a half, as my mobility has decreased, my Vitamin D level has fallen from normal healthy levels above 25 to "insufficient" at 20 and finally to "deficient" at 13. I can’t see where I’m walking and can’t walk where I’m seeing. I don’t leave the house as often. It’s too much effort for too little result. There can be stretches of days where I just don’t leave the house and get no direct sunlight.
Vitamin D can’t be effectively gotten through diet. Sunlight or supplement is essential. Milk actually does not have enough. Online research indicated that the only equal is two servings of fatty fish per day. Besides lacing variety, such a diet can raise big stinks. Lack of vitamin D can produce bone problems, but also result in a variety of other debilitations, including muscle atrophy. I’m sure it has also contributed to the severity of the depression.
I’m taking the supplements as well as an antidepressant.
I’m still trying to pull myself back up.