Getting By

On Dr. Negrey’s recommendation, I saw Retina Specialist Dr. Michael O‘Brien with Koch Eye I did tell O’Brien that two Doctors in two states had been satisfied with monitoring the left retina for a period of years rather than rushing me into PRP laser procedure. I even had that in writing from one of them via communication with my GP.
My mental state was not good at this time, now late October 2009. For weeks I had been seeing out my only good eye through a sheen of blood that had become a murky red over time. There was no relief from this, and no break. When the hemorrhage first happened, I could at least see, even if that was only in technicolor red. Now everything was red fog. I saw only by motion or sharp contrast as everything else was blurred by the blood in the cataract.
This carried a devastating emotional impact. I had worked and fought hard to be self sufficient. I lived an active life. People counted on me for things, including being "the strong one." Now I could not drive. I could not see the TV. Once the blood "in the cataract" had gone from bright to foggy, I could no longer read, thus was unable to review my first anthology publication. I managed on the computer only with the aide of a magnifying mouse and setting screen setting to larger resolutions on a 32-inch TV as a monitor. I listened to a lot of audio books, nut found little of the older and esoteric science fiction that crowded my to-read shelf. With teammates driving me in, I continued bowling. The gutters formed sharp contrast to the lane and I would straight ball down the center, then try for spares by approximate lane position once my teammates told me what pins were still standing.
As much as I tried to maintain a can-do spirit, the disability wore on me.
Negrey had already marked my records as will be blind without PRP, without my fill awareness.. O’Brien , naturally, agreed with his associate. One eye was dark, and the other was obscured by a blood filled cataract.
N a state of depression and uselessness, I let myself get scared into their course of treatment: a few laser sessions with the PRP, cataract surgery which would solve an old problem, and clear the new problem, then some mop up PRP once O’Brien had better view of the retina.
The PRP sessions started on November 2, 2009.